THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!

So yesterday I was playing outside with the kids when a woman walked up. She had some leaflets with the words "THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!" on them, but because the next day was the election day, I thought maybe it was related to politics. So she came up and gave me the handout and said she was going around telling people to be wary of false religion, and asked me if I knew what that meant. I said I did, and said that I was disgusted at how politicians used the bible to get people to vote one way or the other. I said that my uncle was gay, and that I knew that Jesus never talked about homosexuality or gay issues. Most of what he talked about, I said, was money. She didn't know that. That was only the first in a long line of things she did not know.

She asked me if I thought that what the bible said was true. I said it says a lot of things that I disagreed with, and gave the example of Leviticus 20:9 where it says that children who do not honor their mother and father shall be killed. She didn't know about that. I also said that I thought that disabled people should be able to approach the alter of god, but that was also frowned upon in Leviticus chapter 21, as seen here:

For no one who has a blemish shall draw near, a man blind or lame, or one who has a mutilated face or a limb too long, or a man who has an injured foot or an injured hand, or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or a man with a defect in his sight or an itching disease or scabs or crushed testicles...

And I tell you, if a drawf with an injured foot and crushed testicles wants to approach the alter of God, I say, Please go ahead, you have some praying to do.

But she knew none of this.

She asked me if I knew that in the bible it says the name of God and I said yes I did and it is Yahweh, and she said right and it is also Jehovah. She said she thought I had already figured out she was a Jehovah's Witness and I said that the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. It hadn't.

But basically I learned not to be afraid of these people. Interestingly enough, she said they don't vote. I told her to at least go and vote for Independent candidates so that they would have more support to combat the corruption of the 2 party system. She kinda laughed that off.

I won't mention what I said when she told me that homosexuals started AIDS, just that when I was done she apologized profusely. She mentioned a few times that she hadn't read most of the Bible yet.

In the future, I will gladly talk to any traveling person who wants to discuss the Bible with me, and if need be, I will school them in the true teaching of Jesus. False religion, indeed.

I should have asked her what she thought of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.